Breaking Boundaries: Mental and Eating Disorders Don't have Gender Roles

 As I went about my week, I was thinking " what could be my next topic?" And then it hit me: young girls and women aren't the only ones who suffer from these life altering disorders. Men suffer too. This post will be about the thoughts, journey and recovery through Anorexia and Depression. His name is Andrew West. A seventeen year old high school student who finds himself in the music he plays and the songs he writes. 

What was your body image at the time you were feeling the way you were? 

    When all of this started, I was thirteen almost fourteen. I was five foot six and weight one hundred and seventy pounds. I always thought that being "skinny" or "fit" was what made people like you. I remember crying because of every curve that I had made me the definition of imperfection, or unwanted. Going to high school I just wanted to be cool, or fit in. But I knew it wouldn't happen the way I am. 

What was your mental state?

I was very depressed. I would even say I hated myself. I remember every time I would eat too much, I would punish myself by not eating or self-harm. I also didn't have many friends at the time, so I didn't know who I could trust or talk to about these feelings. I attempted suicide during winter break of freshman year because I couldn't live in this ugly body that was given to me. 

Was it something you thought yourself or did someone tell you you needed to lose weight? 

It was a mutual thing. I hated how I looked, and different comments from my family or coaches would just validate hatred towards myself. 

Walk me through your journey

So it all started the summer of 2017. I would go swimming with friends, and I was never comfortable enough to swim without a shirt on. Because I would look around at all the guys who had solid abs and big arms. And here I was this pudgy boy. Like who would want a boy with a pudgy stomach right? Well anyways, my family would make little comments about how much I ate or how tight my clothes fit and each word would destroy my confidence. Shortly after that I stopped eating as much in hopes to lose weight. But little did I know that it was becoming an addiction. About a year into starving myself I was about 116 pounds at this time and people started flirting with me calling me " hot" and "cute" and I thought "good, not eating works" I got down to 104 pounds and I barely had the strength to make through the day. I finally got the "perfect" body, but I was sick and depressed. I remember this. One of my friends sat me down one day and he told me he wanted to talk to me. He asked me: " Are you okay? You look sick!" Me, being offended, I said I was fine and went home. Back then I rarely went to bed without crying myself to sleep. My stomach would constantly hurt due to long periods without food. So yes, I was sick. Very sick... but I had "the perfect body" I thought. But after a few months of struggling, I saw my sister who went through almost the exact same thing. She was usually in shape but healthy, and I wanted that so bad. But I thought it would never happened... until I met this girl Rose who ended up dating me for a little while. She would always tell me how she doesn't care about how much I weigh or what I look like, and that you're a beautiful person and you deserve the world. No one has ever told me that. Because of her, my confidence grew little by little. And even after we broke up I was confident. Because I am beautiful, God made me that way. No matter what size jeans I wear. So today I weight one hundred and fifty pounds and I can go swimming without a shirt on without the fear of other's judgement. This is my story of my struggle with anorexia.

After the interview, I knew that I had to write this. This shows that everyone goes through something and that someone does understand what you're going through. Yes, people's situation and circumstances are completely different but you are never alone in these types of things. There is love out there for you, there are people out there who are going to be there for you. This story shows that there are people who are willing to be there for you, people do care. 

If you haven't heard this in a while: I love you, I am proud of you, you're doing great, and YOU are special. Now go out there and be YOU because that is who you were made to be.