Road To Legacy

 I found out five minutes before going live during worship night at my church. Just scrolling through my instagram stories and I see a friend share the post. Cheslie Kryst, Miss USA 2019, my first Miss USA, fell to her death in the early morning hours yesterday. What was I doing around that time? Getting ready to sing for worship service as one of the main singers. I was terrified, and so unknowing of what was going on in the world around me. Maybe if I had been on my phone and had seen her post, maybe I could have done something?  Her death has been felt around the world and to lose someone so young, so brilliant, and so loving- it's something that's incredibly hard to stomach. I'm sitting at work and I'm STILL looking at my phone, hoping that it was just a mean joke and she's alive and well. I still can't even comprehend.   Suicide. It's not a joke. It's not romantic. It's not something that people should take lightly. We are thirty one days into 2

Christmas is known for the time of year, the traditions, the family get together, and wearing the festive sweaters and trying to make them look cute- even when you know that they aren't. Christmas was a little different for me this year. I actually loved the food.  As a kid, I remember eating so much during Christmas. The pound cake, and the honey glazed ham. Like the ham that I ate until I literally was sick, wasn't my best move. But going through an eating disorder and relapsing, I lost the love for holiday food. Our holidays are built around food, the entire American Culture is. I remember in recent years that I would sometimes shy away from the food at gatherings, unless I would get smaller portions, or skip on what used to be my favorite foods. Those foods made me anxious and all I saw were the numbers, and not the memories. But now, they don't. I caught myself going for seconds, seconds . I never used to do that. But now I do, and my food anxiety is almost gone. Yes,