Winter Breaks: The Semester No one Talks About

 As the number of degrees lower throughout the beginning of December, so do the number of finals on my plate. Finals have always been a dreaded time for me... most of the time. This time of year meant being away from my routine, people who were my support system and diving back into passive aggressiveness, fights, and verbal punches from relatives that I stayed with for the month and a half because of how I handled myself. 

This was the story of every one of my winter breaks. My family didn't approve of my boyfriend, my degree change, or just the overall any type of decision I made for myself. I dreaded breaks, because I knew what it meant. It meant sleepless nights, walking on eggshells, and waking up to have an almost daily debate match between me and my parents. 

Everyone knows that suicide rates increase during the holidays. Another type of Depression is also brought on by the winter time: Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). It is seen to be brought on by decreasing daylight with the shorter days of winter. It's also brought on by change of routine, increased family contact, more free time, and more social events are all well known stressors that can worsen a student's mental health.

While the holidays are seen as days filled sugar cookies and eggnog while watching Christmas Hallmark Romcoms, the holidays are also known for an excessive amount of unhealthy food, increased alcohol intake. All of this, including less access to a gym, or ability to take a walk or exercise leads to odd sleep patterns, weight gain, migraines, and body aches. 

My first winter break was horrible. My parents did not know that I had a boyfriend, I hid him from them. They pried me for information of anything. I wasn't myself and they saw that. On top of all of that I had issues with a friend of mine, where I felt intensely guilty and then with the free time, it consumed my thoughts. That's the night I had mentioned in a previous blog post about my self harm where it was at its worst. The mask I would wear from that break on, was a mask I really would never take off, not just to look like I was alright, but to protect myself.

Fast forward to this Holiday season. It looks different for everyone due to COVID-19, less of going to grandma's house and more of scrolling Instagram or waiting for Christmas shopping to arrive at the door. This year was different for me in different ways. Although COVID-19 is still rampaging our shores, my holidays are a little odd. This is the first time in my college career where I am not seriously dreading the winter holidays because I am in my own space. I'm able to spend it with my boyfriend and I had mentioned to him while I sat on the couch Thanksgiving Day that it was the most relaxing Thanksgiving I had honestly ever had. I was in a safe zone. 

For many college students, and high school alike, their campuses are their safe zones. It's their safe zones because it's where they are able to be themselves unapologetically and have a routine that is their own instead of being on someone else's agenda. 

You are being pulled out of your routine, expected to be at everyone's beck and call, AND keep up with your own social agenda and college relationships. With all of that being said, BE NICE TO YOURSELF. Winter break is supposed to be a break, so take one! Disappear for a day, or two, or even several. Sleep in, drink water, and take a walk with the family pet or by yourself. Here are some other tips that you could follow to make sure that your recovery process, anxiety and/or depression doesn't worsen. 

1: Plan your days: get a routine that you are comfortable with. Have a few days where it's just you and a bubble bath and tv shows.

2: Get your sunshine: Don't stay inside all day, go outside in your sweats and go for a little walk or just sit outside with some hot chocolate. 

3: Exercise: This one is SO important. Exercising releases dopamine and endorphins and keeps your body in a state of consistency. It helps reduce anxiety, and improves sleep patterns. 

4: Calendar erasing: Trust me, it will be okay if you miss that cookie decorating party at your Aunt Alice's house, go to things that you find enjoyable and plan out those things in between so you're not over stimulated. 

These are just a few things that you can do to help you get through your winter holiday vacation before the spring semester. If no one has told you lately, I'm proud of you. Crush those finals and know that you're fearfully and wonderfully made. Thank you for being you. 

Any ideas or suggestions? Leave me a comment down below! I love you guys!