Support: It's a Big Deal

As a child, I had a very good childhood growing up, and then everything changed once I moved from Peru to the United States again. The depression, anxiety and anorexia all set in and I was so, so along going through that. My parents didn't understand what I was going through and thought that I was demon possessed. They didn't believe in counseling but threatened to put me in a mental hospital. I went through this for years, by myself, putting on a brave face because I was terrified of being put in some mental ward. 

This post is about support groups. Support in general, really. Being someone who didn't have that much support going through what I went through, I want to make sure that everyone I come across didn't feel like they were alone. Having support around you, helps you admit that you need help. That's what happened to me once I got to college and once I had a friend that is always there for me but will give me tough love to get me through the day and help me see the reality that things would eventually be okay. In the meantime, he held me and helped me through everything I had going on in my life. Good support means everything when going through recovery. 

My support was (and still is) my FCA group that I've been with since my freshman spring semester. Being with people who believe the same thing as you and have had similar issues that I've had. It helped me realize that what I was feeling was normal. The difference between my college life and my high school life were mind boggling. As someone who is a missionary pastor kid, the oldest child, and the perfectionist that I was at the time really put more pressure on me than anyone would have known. That being said, my parents didn't believe in counseling or therapy. They believed that it was counterproductive to my walk with Christ because the counselor or therapist would make me stray from the Christian life I led, but I was HUNGRY for someone to be supportive. 

Now that I have had that support, I stand on the other side of the battle. I always look for someone that might need support, or a hand to hold, or just someone to vent to. I support others by lifting them up in prayer, being their rock whenever they can't stand. In the more physical realm, I support people by helping them find healthy foods that they might like, learn new workouts that won't hurt their bodies. Sometimes I even direct them to the counseling center on campus- the exact same one that has helped me numerous times. Sometimes support just looks like going to your local coffee shop and listening for hours to the other persons thought process. 

How can you support someone going through mental and eating disorders? The only way that people with these disorders want support, is when they realize that they need to get better. When they admit that they need help. Once they finally realize that, be gentle with them. The mind is a dangerous dark place and can cause so much traumatic damage that one wrong statement or action can cause a relapse or panic attack. Try your best not to trigger the person that needs support. Study up on the person's illness. The best way to combat in illness- mental or physical- is learn all you can about it. Get testimonials from people that have been through that, better yet, let that person talk to the person that needs the support. The last thing that is on my list is: love them. 

Love is something that I never felt when I was going through my disorders, I felt so lonely, deserted- abandoned. I felt unlovable because of my scars, and I thought that I was being made loveable by the amount of ribs that showed from underneath my shirt. A constant tug-of-war was going on in my mind because of that lack of love and lust for love. If you have someone in your life that feels unlovable, show them that you have their back, allow them to be confident that your love is unconditional. Mental and eating disorders are draining, and they'll drain you too because you're caught in the crossfire, but trust me, if that person knows you love them- even despite their illness, it will make all the difference in that person's mind, life, and recovery.