Being a Team Captain: The Servant Leaders are Humans too

 I sit here on my couch, still in my pajamas, and wondering what the heck is going on with life. September has turned into the month of obstacles. From the hurricane to some personal situations. It hasn't been my month. My boyfriend described me as the "rock" in life. The one who is always level, always the same no matter what happens. And it's true, I am always the same person because I don't think that things should ever change my attitude. But sometimes... it's hard to be the rock.

When you're a leader, you can show emotion, you can bend, but you can never break in public. No one should know what actually is effecting you. They see you as the one to go to, not the one that goes to someone else. That's what I am. Someone has a problem? Lily knows what to do. Someone doesn't want to have a conversation? It's okay, Lily will bring it up and she will figure out a goal. Lily is the one to give the effort. Not saying that I've broken, but I am in somewhat of a whirlwind. With graduation being pushed back due to the Hurricane, helping my community, trying to figure out certain situations. It's a ton of things- along with trying to still be Miss Southeastern and go to meetings, be FCA president and maintain some type of student life...is difficult. And being honest, I'm guilty of putting my best face on social media. And I'm sorry about that. But, it shows that I'm human. 

I say all this, because I want to show that it's normal to be in a whirlwind and feel like everything can't be fixed. You have to remember that you can't fix everything on your own. You aren't the savior of everyone. Because if you go in with that mindset then you'll realize pretty quickly that sometimes you can't even save yourself and you'll drown along with everyone else. Take care of yourself, know that you can't fix everyone, or their situations, or their feelings. You can help people, be there for people but if you keep pouring out and not watching out for yourself then there will be nothing for you to give others. I'm tired. That's okay. I want normal back and I want to be the one that also says that sometimes not okay either. Leaders are strong, but they're still human. 

If you're someone's go to- like I am- know that I see you, I hear you, and I know how you feel. It's hard being us. The fixers, the leaders, the ones with open arms. It's worth it though because helping people makes you feel good. It puts a smile on your face knowing that you changed someone's life because that's your purpose. That's your destiny, but it's okay if you feel like you can't go on. You have to make sure you take care of yourself because if  you don't then there will be nothing to give. 

At the end of the day, we are all in the same boat, trying to get through life, making decisions as we go. We are there for each other, we are a team and sometimes the team captains need their team at their back too.