Road To Legacy

 I sit here on my couch, still in my pajamas, and wondering what the heck is going on with life. September has turned into the month of obstacles. From the hurricane to some personal situations. It hasn't been my month. My boyfriend described me as the "rock" in life. The one who is always level, always the same no matter what happens. And it's true, I am always the same person because I don't think that things should ever change my attitude. But sometimes... it's hard to be the rock. When you're a leader, you can show emotion, you can bend, but you can never break in public. No one should know what actually is effecting you. They see you as the one to go to, not the one that goes to someone else. That's what I am. Someone has a problem? Lily knows what to do. Someone doesn't want to have a conversation? It's okay, Lily will bring it up and she will figure out a goal. Lily is the one to give the effort. Not saying that I've broken, but I am...

 My state just went through something brutal: a Category four hurricane on the anniversary of Hurricane Katrina that rampaged throughout the north shore and the New Orleans area, killing hundreds, and leaving thousands homeless. It took years to come back from and to be hit on the exact same day is insult to injury.  This was my first ever hurricane. I didn't know what to expect. The Sunday afternoon before the storm actually hit, the lights went out and we sat in the house and my heart pounded with every gust of wind that smashed into the windows. I sat in fetal position on the couch just waiting for something to happen. It was pitch black. The generator that was keeping the news going drowned out some of the noise, but the winds howled so loudly. When the spotlight was put on the trees, it looked like a giant was stirring a pot frantically trying not to let the bottom burn. It was terrifying . Later that night, water had crept up the road and for a while it was just at the m...

 Whenever I was younger, I always thought that I was supposed to be someone else. Then as I grew up, I became everything I set my mind to, every job that I ever attempted to get, I was hired. I placed in everything. I did good in everything I set my mind to. But yet I still felt that like I didn't deserve any of the accolades that I had achieved.  Welcome to Imposter Syndrome. Also known as Fraud Syndrome, imposter experience, impostorism (yes, it's spelled right). Whatever you might call this feeling, it's real. Imposter syndrome stems from the fear of failure. I was always a perfectionist growing up. I had to make straight A's, I had to be the top of my Homeschool Co-op class, and if I got lower than a ninety, I would freak out. I always felt that my worth was tied to everything that I did.  Being a titleholder, I knew that I was picked for a reason. The judges didn't make a mistake, it wasn't by accident. But sometimes, those little doubts DO creep in and try...

I sat here, looking at my blank computer screen just wondering how in the world would I even begin this next post. In all honesty, I could just shrug my shoulders and say "heck with it." and not even write about this topic, but... I believe that it needed to be talked about. Especially for me.  Forgiveness. It's a hard pill to swallow most times. Many of us have been hurt by people that we love, people that we watched out for, cared about and then all the sudden they throw you under the bus and use you only when they feel its beneficial to themselves. Others don't own up to their mistakes genuinely and disrespect your feelings, decisions, and life goals. All of this absolutely sucks...trust me, I know first hand.  The Webster's Dictionary definition of forgiveness is: "to cease to feel resentment against an offender. " To cease feeling resentment? That's a lot easier said than done. Have you ever really thought about that before? I started thinking a...

 Hi again... I know, it's been a while and I didn't mean for that to happen, but it did. Life just caught up with me and everything finally has been able to be caught up with, neatly put in a planner and put away in a basket. Life is back to normal...almost. Miss Louisiana was officially a month ago and what a week that was. So many memories made, walls broken through and decisions made and hearts made to be put at peace.  I say that last little phrase because I'm not used to being unplaced. In everything I've ever done I've always placed, except for maybe that talent show during my first year at bible camp with a red head that thought we could be the country duo Maddie and Tae. But in everything else I've always been in the top half of competition- whether it be in broadcast, writing, journalist, talent etc. I've never lost. I know that sounds crazy but it's true.  I don't know what it's like to truly lose. Well yeah, the LSU vs. Bama game back ...

 Dear Younger Me,  Honestly, I don't know where to start. There are so many things that come to mind, but I guess I should start out simply and truthfully. Life isn't everything that the movies make it out to be. It isn't the fairytales that you read. Life is hard, real hard. You're going to go through so much- things you wouldn't even have thought of. You're going to cry, you're going to feel pain and there will be days where you feel like you can't make it any longer. This will go on for a few years. Your life will feel miserable. There's a but in there, no worries. Within all these hard things, there are rainbows. There are days with snow flurries where you'll realize that everything will be alright. Life isn't all horrible, in it all, there will be beauty. You are strong, you are a one of a kind person- even if you feel like you are the most basic blonde headed girl in the room- you are someone special. You just don't realize it just ...

Good morning on this beautiful June morning. I've been up since 4 am because I have started a new summer job at my local gym, taking the morning shifts that begin at 5:15 am. That being said, tired is understatement. Starting out, I was fine, and then my life turned upside down- more than it has been since I won the Miss Southeastern Crown.      Miss Louisiana is in in 13 days, so that means extra prep time, practices, buying things for so many people- including myself. And it doesn't stop there. My life is hectic, working two jobs, and then moving out of my old apartment into a new one within two days (it's still not done by the way, boxes are EVERYWHERE). I have several appearances in the next week and a half, appointments to get myself looking my best and last minute touches on talent. Waking up before the sun even comes up. It gets a little overwhelming sometimes. I look back on the school year and I ask myself: " how in the world did I manage everything that I did...